Bar Hopping Bourbon Street

I know that  the objective of this blog has been to shed light upon the myriad bars in Lowell. However, I had a review opportunity that I could not pass up. That opportunity came in the form of a trip to New Orleans and a few nights spent on the infamous Bourbon Street. Obviously, I had previously heard of Bourbon Street and all its bead throwing, boob flashing Mardi Gras glory, but I was set form my own opinion of this place.

Bourbon Street on a typical Thursday night.

I think the most important point to make about Bourbon Street before going into details is that public drinking is not only allowed, but encouraged. This demolished all barriers to bar hopping that I've been accustomed to and created an environment unlike any I've ever seen. Driving a car down Bourbon on Thursday or Friday night was impossible because the street was overflowing with people. The action was non-stop and I remember standing wide-eyed at the beginning of the street while taking in my surroundings.



"Big Beer" huts dotted the street selling big beers (who would have guessed?) in plastic cups for $3. I remember dropping by one of these huts and receiving some valuable advice from two scruffy men. As they pumped Bud Light out of the keg, the men warned me not to "get swallowed up" by Bourbon Street. They regaled me with tales of women who lost their money and turned into roaming prostitutes in hopes of funding a trip back home. I was fairly certain these stories were about as credible as the alcohol licenses of the imaginative men, yet the sexual depravity of Bourbon Street was hard to deny.

New Orleans seems to know what guys like.

Strip clubs lined the streets as scantily clad women and slick club promoters tried to entice drunken tourists to take a walk on the wild side. New Orleans is a city unashamed of itself. The good, the bad and the ugly are all on display for the world to see. One moment I was admiring the charming architecture of the various creole cottages and the next I was watching a cross-dresser dance on the hood of a taxi. Inhibitions were thrown out the window for most visiting tourists as I was hit on by multiple middle-aged women.

What better place to observe the craziness than from a balcony?

Bourbon Street's equivalent of fast food consisted of pizza slices and daiquiris. The signature drink of these establishments was a frozen concoction dubbed "The World's Strongest Drink." That is a pretty big claim to make, so I had to test it for legitimacy. The drink tasted and looked like green Hawaiian Punch spiked with vodka --- a  formidable combination. I may have actually called this the world's strongest drink if I hadn't purchased a drink the previous night called "The Gator Bite" at Huck Finn's Pub. This behemoth of a beverage included orange and pineapple juice, coconut rum, peach schnaps, Blue Curacao and, to top it off, Everclear (which I thought was illegal). After drinking this thing and attempting to function like a normal human being, I concluded that The Gator Bite was definitely the strongest drink I've ever had.

During my visit to New Orleans, I must have been in over a dozen different bars, so reviewing one specifically is difficult. Two of my favorites were the Old Absinthe House and Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop. Constructed in the early 1700s, Lafitte's is regarded as the oldest bar in the United States. Pictures of celebrities adorn the walls of the antiquated bar that had connection to piracy and smuggling centuries ago. The Absinthe House was equally historical and my only disappointment was that I forgot to try absinthe while I was there.

Three nights were not enough for me to experience Bourbon Street to the fullest. I'm not sure if three months would be enough either. This was one of the craziest places I've ever visited and just to say that I've been bar hopping on this famous street means a lot. I'm also glad I made it back in one piece and that I was coherent enough to remember most of my experiences in New Orleans.

Cheapness: 2.5
Beer Selection: 3.5
General Crowd: 5
Atmosphere: 5
Romantic Potential: depends on your definition of romance